When I gave birth to Landon, I was in a birthing inn. Long hours of labor with the continuous internal exams by complete strangers and constant distractions of medical equipment and needless chattering in a bright lit room. I thought I had been prepared for coping with my contractions but since I believed that birth was a painful experience, that was very much my reality. It also didn’t help much that my husband at the time was someone I was completely miserable with. I felt less than no love or support during my labor. I had lost my mind at about 5 centimeters and was begging for an epidural. After Landon was born, he was placed on my chest very briefly before being taken away to be weighed, measured, tested and bathed. It was after the delivery of my placenta, a room transfer and 3 catheters later that my baby was handed back to me.
It wasn’t until a discussion with @quinneaker that I truly began to believe that a painless birth was possible. His insight led me to research relentlessly when my second pregnancy came around.
I read books on Orgasmic birth, birth physiology, watched videos of women giving birth effortlessly and studied the history of birthing midwives and their documentations. I ate consciously and consumed the best food (available to me) on a daily basis. Every night I indulged in my yoga practice, meditation and fell asleep to self-hypnosis. During my self hypnosis session, I was able to put myself in a deep trance state that released natural anesthesia. I practiced multiple birthing positions in bed, on the floor, on my birthing ball and in my bathtub to become completely familiarized and comfortable for when the time came. I was fully dedicated to achieving a painless birth.
On September 2nd at 11:59, my midwife arrived at my home. I had soft piano music playing in the background, white candles lit all over my bedroom and bathroom, and lavender oil in the diffusers. The atmosphere was incredibly beautiful, relaxing and conducive to the trance-like state I was in.
I spent most of my time on my bed draped over my birthing ball while being massaged and having my hair stroked by Brad (my fiance) and doula while staying completely focused and comfortable through each contraction. My midwife had asked me to get up and walk around my home to allow gravity to help with the descent of the baby. After a trip down to the kitchen, I made my way back upstairs and into Landon’s room. I gently opened his door, sat on his bed as I touched his cheek and kissed him on the forehead. I was saying “goodbye” to the last time Landon would be my only child and I wanted to cherish the moment once more.
My midwife seemed a little pessimistic about my labor progression because after I returned to my room, I went directly back to my bed and proceeded to concentrate on my deep meditative breathing. It looked like I went back to sleep with the only indication that I was in a wake state was my light humming during contractions. I decided to have her check me to see how much I had progressed. I was already fully dilated!
I decided that I should probably try and pee one more time before I got into the bathtub. While I was sitting on the toilet, I felt so much pressure as if her head would fall out if I relaxed any more. I got into the water and got comfortable and felt the water therapy take effect. My midwife asked me to reach my fingers inside to see if I could feel the baby’s head. When I did, I felt a hard bubble right at the tip of my fingers. And with my first push, my water broke. I only pushed for a few minutes and she was out! My Willow Sage was born at 6:24am on September 3rd weighing 7 pounds and measuring 21 inches. She entered this world calm, aware and beautifully perfect!